Baby's R Us...The insanity

This past Sunday we went to Baby's R Us to register. In case no one is aware, Baby's R Us is a warehouse full of babies and you pick one out to bring home. OK, thats not quite right, but the place is rather daunting. This place is huge... and its FULL, chock FULL of baby stuff and pregnant ladies... I had no idea there were so many things for such a tiny thing. The store does this whole "Registration Brunch"... which is their way of getting the guys to go along to the store. So guys think that there is going to be alot of good breakfast items to gorge on... No way Jose...
I had a stale donut (you know the el cheapos from the grocery bread isle..) and couple pieces of mangled fruit. AND NO COFFEE...
Next up: the presentation.
After filling up on formula (i had to eat SOMETHING), we got to play a game. It was "guess the most popular baby items". I didn't do so well. I think out of ten i got zero... Jen didn't do much better, she got one. I guess we aren't trained baby consumers (that sounds a bit odd...) that we need to be to be part of the baby experience. Actually no-one did much better. There were eight other couples, and i think the best score was by the guy who brought his own coffee... bastard.
So the game was over and they then lectured us on the content of our binders. I don't remember much since i was trying to keep my eyelids open with the silicon bottle nipples...
The presentation took one hour... I'm not sure how that happened...I must have blacked out for a while....
It did prepare me for the best part: the registry.

Luckily for me (and the rest of my future family), Jen is the most organized person in the world. Just think of the most organized person you know... and then quadruple it. That is my wife... and i love her for it. While other guys were getting sappy cubic zirconia for their loved ones, i was getting a labelmaker. She loved it too, and proceeded to label the entire house... including the dog.
So this organization reduced our registration time down to three hours... I imagine if she wasn't as organized we would have closed the store. She knew pretty much what we needed so we zipped around the warehouse like turtles on speed. We got all the necessary items and some of the unnecessary items... which we promptly deleted online when we got home. I got to use the laser gun... which is a bit overrated. It provides the guy with a way to stay involved in the process and i found it to be a bit unreliable. I think it provides the guy with a chance to throw something that friggen won't scan... Damn thing nearly took a trip across the store.
Did you know that you need three strollers... yeah! that kid will have more vehicles than i will... You need one for the infant stage, one for the toddler stage and one so that you can lug that kid through airports and malls...

After our three hour marathon....we both needed some food... and i needed a beer. Ah sweet hopped fermented malted barley... how i love thee...